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The place to be for a PhD

I don’t actually have any plans to apply for a PhD right now, but if I were it would probably be at one of these places.

I’m gonna make my own university ranking, with blackjack and hookers!
Blackjack and hookers meme

I’m gonna make my own university ranking, with blackjack and hookers!

Prestige plays a major role in academia. It’s why researchers dream of publishing their work in prestigious journals, like Nature and Science. It’s why you can find Harvard University sweaters all over the world, even though Harvard doesn’t actually have that many students. And it’s why people get all giddy about an opportunity to work or study at Oxford, even though there are plenty of other institutions that may have more to offer.

A decent chunk of a university’s prestige comes from rankings, of which there are many. A high position in one specific ranking usually doesn’t mean a lot. A high position in many different rankings on the other hand is a clear sign that a university is indeed prestigious.

While prestige can afford you certain privileges, it does not play that much of a role in your day-to-day life as a graduate student. Rankings tend to be based on research output and recognition thereof, but you’re likely more concerned about things like quality of education, facilities, student life, affordability, the likelihood that your supervisor will be a Machiavellian psychopath, or the university’s primary topics of research.

Most rankings are therefore kind of useless for students.

I’m going to exacerbate this problem by introducing my own ranking, the Toilet Paper Rankings, which is solely based on the number of summarised papers in which an organisation, which is usually – but not always – a university, is mentioned as an affiliation. The list is updated daily, although it usually only changes once a week, when I publish a new paper summary.

Toilet Paper Rankings

RankCountryOrganisationPoints
1usCarnegie Mellon University11
2usNorth Carolina State University8
3–4nlDelft University of Technology6
3–4chUniversity of Zurich6
5–9ilBen-Gurion University of the Negev4
5–9usMicrosoft Research4
5–9sgSingapore Management University4
5–9ilThe Hebrew University of Jerusalem4
5–9deUniversity of Stuttgart4
10–25seChalmers University of Technology3
10–25usCornell University3
10–25nlEindhoven University of Technology3
10–25usIBM Corporation3
10–25auMonash University3
10–25nlOpen University of the Netherlands3
10–25caQueen’s University3
10–25usStanford University3
10–25chUniversità della Svizzera italiana3
10–25chUniversity of Bern3
10–25fiUniversity of Helsinki3
10–25fiUniversity of Oulu3
10–25gbgb-engUniversity of Oxford3
10–25caUniversity of Toronto3
10–25caUniversity of Victoria3
10–25usUniversity of Washington3
26–68caConcordia University2
26–68auCurtin University2
26–68gbgb-engDurham University2
26–68brFederal University of Minas Gerais2
26–68deFraunhofer2
26–68usGoogle2
26–68nlJheronimus Academy of Data Science2
26–68jpKyushu University2
26–68seLund University2
26–68nlMaastricht University2
26–68usMassachusetts Institute of Technology2
26–68usMicrosoft2
26–68usNorthern Arizona University2
26–68usNorthwestern University2
26–68cnPeking University2
26–68usPivotal2
26–68caPolytechnique Montréal2
26–68fiTampere University2
26–68usUC Berkeley2
26–68usUC Davis2
26–68gbgb-engUniversity College London2
26–68caUniversity of Alberta2
26–68nlUniversity of Amsterdam2
26–68nzUniversity of Auckland2
26–68caUniversity of British Columbia2
26–68caUniversity of Calgary2
26–68gbgb-engUniversity of Cambridge2
26–68usUniversity of Chicago2
26–68seUniversity of Gothenburg2
26–68nlUniversity of Groningen2
26–68usUniversity of Illinois at Chicago2
26–68fiUniversity of Jyväskylä2
26–68luUniversity of Luxembourg2
26–68usUniversity of Maryland2
26–68noUniversity of Oslo2
26–68deUniversity of Passau2
26–68itUniversity of Salerno2
26–68gbgb-engUniversity of Sheffield2
26–68usUniversity of Southern California2
26–68nlUtrecht University2
26–68nlVrije Universiteit Amsterdam2
26–68caYork University2
26–68chZurich University of Applied Sciences2
69–282dkAalborg University1
69–282fiAalto University1
69–282dkAarhus University1
69–282usAllegheny College1
69–282usArizona State University1
69–282usAugusta University1
69–282nlAvans University of Applied Sciences1
69–282cnBaidu, Inc.1
69–282ilBar-Ilan University1
69–282eses-ctBarcelona Supercomputing Center1
69–282deBauhaus-Universität Weimar1
69–282cnBeijing Institute of Technology1
69–282trBilkent University1
69–282seBlekinge Institute of Technology1
69–282caBloorview Research Institute1
69–282usBoeing Research & Technology Europe1
69–282usBoston University1
69–282gbBritish Geological Survey1
69–282usBroadPath1
69–282usCalifornia Institute of Technology1
69–282usCalifornia Polytechnic State University1
69–282seCarmenta Geospatial Technologies1
69–282deCISPA Helmholtz Center for Information Security1
69–282usClarkson University1
69–282usClemson University1
69–282krClova AI Research1
69–282itCNR-ISTI1
69–282frCNRS1
69–282seCodeScene1
69–282usColumbia Basin College1
69–282usColumbia University1
69–282noConceptos Consulting1
69–282trCumhuriyet University1
69–282unDon’t Forget the Bubbles1
69–282usDrexel University1
69–282deEberhard Karls Universität Tübingen1
69–282chETH Zurich1
69–282nlExact International Development1
69–282usFacebook1
69–282brFederal Institute of Rio Grande do Norte1
69–282brFederal University of Amazonas1
69–282brFederal University of Bahia1
69–282brFederal University of Pará1
69–282brFederal University of Rio Grande do Norte1
69–282brFederal University of Sergipe1
69–282atFHV Vorarlberg University of Applied Sciences1
69–282itFree University of Bozen-Bolzano1
69–282usGeorge Fox University1
69–282usGeorge Mason University1
69–282usGeorgia Institute of Technologyy1
69–282usGoogle Research1
69–282usHarvard Business School1
69–282deHarz University of Applied Sciences1
69–282gbgb-engImperial College London1
69–282frInria1
69–282idInstitut Teknologi Bandung1
69–282gbgb-engIntruder Systems1
69–282usIowa State University1
69–282irIran Telecommunication Research Center1
69–282frIRISA1
69–282itItalian National Research Council1
69–282usJane Street Capital1
69–282usJet Propulsion Laboratory1
69–282czJetBrains Research1
69–282usJohns Hopkins University1
69–282krKAIST1
69–282usKansas State University1
69–282deKarlsruhe Institute of Technology1
69–282usKennesaw State University1
69–282usKent State University1
69–282gbgb-engKing’s College London1
69–282krKorea Press Foundation1
69–282seKTH Royal Institute of Technology1
69–282auLady Cilento Children’s Hospital1
69–282nlLeadership Footprint1
69–282deLeibniz Institute for Neurobiology1
69–282gbgb-engLeicester Royal Infirmary1
69–282nlLeiden University1
69–282usLoyola College1
69–282deMax Planck Institute for Research on Collective Goods1
69–282deMax Planck Institute for Security and Privacy1
69–282caMcGill University1
69–282usMeta1
69–282esMeta41
69–282deMETOP GmbH1
69–282usMicrosoft Canada1
69–282usMicrosoft Corporation1
69–282usMontclair State University1
69–282nzMultitudes1
69–282auMurdoch University1
69–282usNetflix1
69–282fiNokia Bell Labs1
69–282usNortheastern University1
69–282noNorwegian University of Science and Technology1
69–282noNTNU1
69–282usOakland University1
69–282caOntario Tech University1
69–282seÖrebro University1
69–282usOregon State University1
69–282noØstfold University College1
69–282deOtto von Guericke University Magdeburg1
69–282dePaderborn University1
69–282dePhilipps University Marburg1
69–282ptPolytechnic Institute of Tomar1
69–282itPolytechnic University of Milan1
69–282caPolytechnique Montreal1
69–282nlRadboud University1
69–282usRochester Institute of Technology1
69–282gbRolls-Royce plc1
69–282deRuhr University Bochum1
69–282deSaarland University1
69–282usSauce Labs1
69–282lvSEB Life & Pension Holding AB Riga Branch1
69–282cnShanghai Jiao Tong University1
69–282noSimula Research Laboratory1
69–282noSINTEF1
69–282nlSoftware Improvement Group1
69–282usStevens Institute1
69–282usStevens Institute of Technology1
69–282auSwinburne University of Technology1
69–282chSwisscom1
69–282auSydney Children’s Hospital1
69–282fiTampere University of Technology1
69–282deTechnische Universität München1
69–282esTecnalia1
69–282usTexas A&M University1
69–282usThe College of William and Mary1
69–282cncn-hkThe Hong Kong University of Science and Technology1
69–282nlThe Liberators1
69–282gbgb-engThe Open University1
69–282gbgb-engThe Royal London Hospital1
69–282usThe University of New Mexico1
69–282nlTIAS School for Business and Society1
69–282nlTilburg University1
69–282itU-Hopper1
69–282mxUAM Iztapalapa1
69–282saUmm Al-Qura University1
69–282coUniversidad de los Andes1
69–282esUniversidad Rey Juan Carlos1
69–282brUniversidade Federal de Pernambuco1
69–282brUniversidade Tecnológica Federal do Paraná1
69–282chUniversità della Svizzera italiana1
69–282esUniversity Carlos III of Madrid1
69–282ieUniversity College Cork1
69–282beUniversity College Ghent1
69–282chUniversity Hospital of Zurich1
69–282auUniversity of Adelaide1
69–282usUniversity of Alabama1
69–282chUniversity of Applied Sciences Northwestern Switzerland1
69–282usUniversity of Arizona1
69–282usUniversity of Arkansas1
69–282eses-ctUniversity of Barcelona1
69–282chUniversity of Basel1
69–282itUniversity of Bologna1
69–282brUniversity of Brasília1
69–282usUniversity of California, Los Angeles1
69–282usUniversity of California, Santa Cruz1
69–282esUniversity of Castilla-La Mancha1
69–282esUniversity of Castilla–La Mancha1
69–282gbgb-engUniversity of Central Lancashire1
69–282dkUniversity of Copenhagen1
69–282deUniversity of Duisburg-Essen1
69–282gbgb-engUniversity of East Anglia1
69–282itUniversity of Florence1
69–282deUniversity of Freiburg1
69–282chUniversity of Geneva1
69–282itUniversity of Genoa1
69–282usUniversity of Georgia1
69–282deUniversity of Giessen1
69–282usUniversity of Hawai‘i1
69–282usUniversity of Illinois1
69–282atUniversity of Klagenfurt1
69–282gbgb-engUniversity of Leeds1
69–282gbgb-engUniversity of Leicester1
69–282frUniversity of Lorraine1
69–282deUniversity of Magdeburg1
69–282mtUniversity of Malta1
69–282caUniversity of Manitoba1
69–282usUniversity of Massachusetts Amherst1
69–282auUniversity of Melbourne Medical School1
69–282usUniversity of Miami1
69–282itUniversity of Milano-Bicocca1
69–282itUniversity of Molise1
69–282beUniversity of Mons1
69–282esUniversity of Murcia1
69–282auUniversity of New South Wales1
69–282auUniversity of Newcastle1
69–282usUniversity of Oregon1
69–282deUniversity of Potsdam1
69–282auUniversity of Queensland1
69–282frUniversity of Rennes 11
69–282itUniversity of Sannio1
69–282eses-gaUniversity of Santiago de Compostela1
69–282caUniversity of Saskatchewan1
69–282cnUniversity of Science and Technology of China1
69–282usUniversity of South Carolina1
69–282zaUniversity of Stellenbosch Business School1
69–282auUniversity of Technology Sydney1
69–282usUniversity of Wisconsin-Milwaukee1
69–282usVanderbilt University1
69–282usVassar College1
69–282fiVincit1
69–282beVrije Universiteit Brussel1
69–282nlVU University Amsterdam1
69–282usWayne State University1
69–282usWesleyan University1
69–282noWesterdals ACT1
69–282auWestern Hospital Footscray1
69–282usWestern Michigan University1
69–282usWestern Washington University1
69–282nzWhitireia Polytechnic1
69–282usWilliam & Mary1
69–282cnWuhan University1
69–282usYale University1